Melissa's Blog

It was a totally bitter sweet ending. We shot an entire feature in 10 days which is ridiculous. The effects were awesome, the cast and crew were awesome. It was a very fun project. I literally have not slept in two weeks but it will be worth it. There is tons of blood,boobs and various other things that make this film great. I also have some pretty fun on set stories that I will share through out the next couple days.

I am back on the East Coast and I am beginning the filming on EYHO!!! The food on the East Coast is the best in the world. I am trying to watch what I eat because of the amount, or shall I say the lack of clothes I am wearing in this film. But pizza is irresistible!!! Today I met my leading man. (very cool by the way) We shot some montage stuff in the Bronx and begin the bloody stuff on Saturday!!! Stay tuned for details.

So I get an email from a rescue group that I work with. Apparently someone heard a raccoon in their attic at their place of work. They were nice enough to get a safe trap to catch the raccoon so that they could bring it to a park. The problem started because they left the trap set when they left the office for the weekend. The Raccoon was trapped and died over the weekend. The Saga continues. The Raccoon had three babies. So the poor Raccoon was trapped, couldn't get outt o feed her babies and she literally died from Panic and Hyperventilllating!! Now these baby raccoons have no mom, no way to eat and they are still in the attic. Luckily I had the number for LA Wildlife rescue and they came and took the babies Monday Night. Please be responsible. Think before you do things. The safe trap was great but don't leave it out unless you can check it! These poor creatures.

The other day I was pulling into my driveway and I saw a little mocking bird that was obviously pushed out of the nest. The baby bird didn't seem sick, it had all it's feathers and he was screaming and hopping around. I very carefully picked him up (with gloves) and put him in a little box that I had. I happen to have a bird cage that I bought just for this occasion. So I sterilized it and put some hay along the bottom and placed the bird in there. 9 times out of 10 a baby bird will survive as long as it will eat. Most birds get pushed out of the nest by a sibling and they can't fly so they die of starvation. I bought baby bird food at a local pet store to keep in my home. Basically you make a batch by following the directions. It's simple, add bottled water that is room temperature and let it sit. You will need a syringe of some sort to feed the bird. The first couple times you feed them they won't eat. However, once they taste the food they open right up for you. It's adorable. The mocking bird hears my voice and opens his mouth for the food. Be careful not to get the food all over your bird. It's tough. you can clean him off with warm water after he eats. The bird should be fed as often as possible. When they are full they go to sleep. It's not a difficult task and as soon as the bird can fly and eat seed you can let him go. People always make the assumption that a baby bird will die. But in all honesty it's pretty easy to save them. They do need to be hand fed and they do need the hay changed every couple of days! You could always email me w/ questions!

Before I start this blog I want to say that the gay community is completely excluded from this. In LA the Mo's are hot, fun and know whats up when it comes to dating and fucking...

The straight men on the other hand. WHERE DID YOU GROW UP!!! Seriously. First of all the better looking the man the less sex appeal he has. How does that happen. Maybe they are so busy loving themselves that they can't pay attention to the opposite sex??? Then the cheapness kills me. Coming from a place like NY where as a woman you rarely pay for anything. LA is a major culture shock. The men here will talk about all the money they have but won't even buy you a drink??? Girls, if you are single and moving to LA bring a man w/ you or import one later. I am not only talking from my experience this has been an ongoing issue for all single women I know in this "city."

Boys, if you plan on staring all evening just send over a drink. At least offer. Since most of us drive we will probably say no. Also..Get a job. This one is important. I know most of you are struggling artists. But success comes to those who create succesful surroundings. No job, no car, no ambition is way to common! Sorry.

I got about 75 phone calls today telling me one of my exes is going to jail for embezzling money.

Without naming names, I will just say that he is a really famous jeweler and his clients include high profile rappers. This guy was unbelievable. The only music I listen to is hip hop--I love it, and living in New York I was out every night at some crazy party and so my path eventually crossed with this jeweler's.

I actually met him at the end of Missy Elliot's record release party and didn't know who he was. He handed me a card and told me he would give me a bracelet if I went out with him. I was truly unimpressed. I feel if a man has to offer you material things he probably doesn't have much else to offer. Anyway, a few weeks later...It was actually on my birthday and I was with Eminem and Proof from D-12(RIP) at a club on East 59th. (On a side note Proof was one of the nicest men I ever met. Truly talented, funny and unique.) I was walking through the crowd of people that were in the VIP area and my friend Monique spotted this jeweler. She grabbed him and said, "You remember Melissa..." See, Monique loved it when guys offered material things and she was "all about" me getting some diamonds. I started talking to him and he actually seemed much nicer then I remembered. I agreed to dinner.

The next night we went to this underground Russian place on the upper west side, which was amazing. The food was great and he was a perfect gentleman--until it was time to leave. He actually had his bodyguard (which alot of famous men do) hold me back so I couldn't leave. He didn't realize that I don't take very kindly to being forced or told to do anything. I had enough at that point, so I freaked out and got into a cab. Then this man, who apparently doesn't hear "no" often, starts showing up at my job with gifts. I was working at a high profile club (frequented by celebrities like Howard Stern) and the bouncers did an awesome job of keeping the creep away. He kept this up for almost 8 months and then I starting working at Coyote Ugly. There, you were pretty much your own bouncer. Somehow he found out I worked there, and he would come and actually hand me piles of money to leave the bar for the night. it was ridiculous and I would never take it and he would leave pissed-off. Anyway, in the end...I got some jewelry, I had some laughs, and luckily no harm was done. I don't know if he will go to jail, but just remember this:

If a man is offering you material things, it's probably all he has to offer!!!

I decided to adopt another bunny to keep my bunny company. They are pack animals, and generally having two animals is not much more work then one. I called the local shelter and they had 60 up for adoption! There were also chickens, a turtle, and hundreds of cats and dogs. I went to the pound and it was heartbreaking. There were so many animals just crying and wanting to get out, I could barely stand it. I was immediately crying and asked how long they generally allow these poor creatures to live. 3 days. 3 days, and all of the animals I was looking at would be dead. The most awful part is that these animals' only crime is that the people who decided to take them no longer wanted them. It's important to remember that there is no such thing as a bad pet. They are all trainable. All of them. So I adopted two bunnies and they are doing well. They are getting used to the dogs and are starting to cuddle. Please know that when you are adopting or buying an animal, it is for life. They need you and depend on you. If you are not willing to give them that don't take them. Know that animals get sick and as their owner it is your responsibilty to pay for their illness. It gets expensive so if you don't think you can afford it don't take them. And please--if you have a pet and you absolutely have to get rid of them, make sure you call a rescue group or find a home for them. Don't bring them to a shelter because they will be killed. Don't be lazy, this is a life.

A common question among actors is..Do I really need an agent and a manager? The truth is you don't. If you have one or the other and it's working for you awesome. Don't fix it if it ain't broken. However, most of you aren't happy with one or both. No one can really tell you whats going to work for you. The reality is you need to decide for yourself and sign with someone you have chemistry with. Since I have already written alot about agents and choosing an agent I am going to focus on managers for a little while. Managers are supposed to manage your career. They have fewer clients, so they should have the time to really work with you and decide where you need to be in the industry. They should be making calls for you and taking calls from you. The manager and actor relationship should be an opened one. There should be an easy way to communicate either through email or phone. The manager should be involved in every aspect of your career. Not just getting you auditions. They should help you with photos and type and your full marketing package! If you read a manger contract they usually say that the manager gets 15% of everything you do as an enetrtainer. So that means the manager should be involved w/ everything you do as an entertainer. Be careful with that one. Basically, the manager should also be helping you get an agent. It's best if the agents and managers get along because the manager is your agent liaison. The manager should be calling the agent to make sure you were submitted forcertain projects. Most managers have realtionships with specific agents and will immediately get you appointments.

I truly believe that meeting casting directors at workshops is one of the best tools we have as actors. There are alot of mixed feelings on these. A lot of times actors say the casting people are just doing it for the money. The reality is..yeah they are making extra money and that is incentive for anyone. However, their job is to find the best actors for any role. They don't care where they find that actor. It makes their job easy if they have met that actor and watched them work. I laugh when people say workshops don't work....blah, blah. blah. Honestly..Does sending out headshots work? Do agents work? Nothing works. It's all a shot in the dark. If you are in front of the right person at the right time it will happen. 90% of the actors I know that work constantly go to workshops, have agents and send out pictures. It's not easy, it's a full time job even if you are not getting paid yet. Keep that in mind. Just like in any business hard work pays off. There are exceptions to every rule of course. But generally speaking you have to work really hard everyday!

So as actors we all feel that we are really versatile and we can play anything. This is probably true and most of us have probably done a lot of theatre and have played everything. I remember when I was a senior in Highschool I played a 16 year old troubled teen in one show and then a few months later played a church going mother to a 16 year old...

Now if you are reading this and you came to LA to work in TV and film erase that versatile actor thing from your brain. You will not work if you are general in any way! We need SPECIFIC! The more specific the better. Now there are alot of ways we can figure out what type we are but I am going to start by telling all of you what to look for. Remember that this is Show BUSINESS!!! Business. (Matt Kane casting associate for Scrubs gave me that one!) Any good business person knows that the product they are selling needs to a. work, b. be easily marketable and c. be recognizable and understood by the general public. As actors we are the product. Now lets look at the resources. Each of you should be reading breakdowns of characters every day! I am not saying you should be looking for roles to submit yourself on. (although you can do that too!) I am saying you should look for the way the casting people describe the characters they are seeking. Check out the adjectives. You can find these breakdowns on NowCasting.com, ActorsAccess.com and several other actor sites. Pay attention to the words and phrases they use alot and decide where you fit. Hopefully the specific niche you pick will coincide with alot of the character breakdowns.


Lets get to the actual type casting of an individual. First, take a look at yourself. I don't care who you actually are. I care who you look like you can play on TV!! Example, if you graduated from Yale and your parents are very wealthy thats great. But if you look like white trash..your gonna play white trash. And whit trash is really hot right now so be proud! but seriously ask people questions about who you remind them of. Not necessarily who you look like. Because once your famous...you can go back to being versatile and playing anything. So if people keep telling you that you look like Julia Roberts thats great. But completely unhelpful. Going back to the white trash thing. If someone tells you that you remind them of the character Jason Lee plays in My Name is Earl...Thats helpful. Not how he looks but how he acts! Second ask and think about what kind of car you would drive on TV. Sounds silly. But if you can only picture yourself in a Mercedes, you are probably going to be playing doctors and lawyers. Next, think if you usually play a victim or a villian. Then ask if you look like a college educated person or not. These questions will help you get to your niche.


Fern Orenstien, Head of Casting CBS, put it best. She basically said that if she has to cast a role and she knows she only has a day to do it and she has to call the actors before she leaves work the day before. She is going to pick the pictures of the actors that she knows can play the role. Example, if you submit a nice general shot of yourself for a cop role. Most people will look at it and figure you can play a cop. but if you have a picture with a blue button down shirt, a rigid look and a clean cut haircut she will know you can play the cop. If it's between the person who can play it and who can probably play it...The guy who CAN play it will get the call.


We all want to play tons of different, interesting roles. But in the beginning lets just work. Figure out where you fit. Where are you unmistakeably, over and over perfect for the role. Go for it, start booking. Once you have 10 credits it will be a hell of alot easier to get 10 more. Get called in to these offices. Don't let them have the opportunity to say they don't know what to do with you! DO NOT BE GENERAL!!!!!

Since getting an agent is such a common problem for most actors. I have decided to dedicate two blogs to it. The thing I find most amusing about actors when they are looking for an agent is the lack of research that they do. We all have heard of William Morris and CAA. These are phenominal agencies and allactors should strive to be there. However...If you are lucky enough to get in for an interview and maybe even signed to one of these agencies the only plus is that your picture will be in an envelope that will get opened. Unfortunately your headshot will be among the headshots of Kirstie Alley, Naomi Campbell and other really big stars. Also, if your agent has timeto pitch 10 clients a day. Do you think he or she is going to use that time to pitch an actor that is going to make the agent a few hundred thousand or a few hundred. This isn't rocket science. And the fact of the matter is these big agencies do have some very unknown talent. I hope everyone reading this has IMDBPRO! You see you can log in and type in any star or any agency and see a list of clients. Check out the clients ranking number. 50 Cent is there first client listed and he is 788. Paula Abdul is the next client (it goes in alphabetical order) she is ranked 1414. Basically anyone ranked under 20,000 is pretty well known. They do have clients over 20,000 but these people don't have any credits and it usually stays like that for a long time. So the belief that an agency like William Morris is going to make you famous is totally untrue!!!!!!!!!! You are going to make you famous. Find an agent that believes in you and has time to make calls on your behalf. These agents only make money if you make money. So if they don't have a Tom Cruise in the agency the chances of them picking up the phone to push for all of the clients is pretty good. Make sure it's an agent you like and that thinks you should be a star. Make sure you and your agent agree on what type you are! There is nothing worse then when an actor calls me and tells me there agent thinks they should go out for something they don't think they would ever play. This point will brimng me to my blog for tomorrow. Typecasting and being honest w/ yourself. We all have a niche. If you can find it and own it you will work.

So being an actor in Los Angeles can be frustrating. I fully understand that the entire process is a catch 22. Everyday, the actor passes the studios and the casting offices where all of the projects he or she wants to be part of are filmed. The actor watches TV and sees other actors that have roles that they feel they should have. Some how during this state of wanting the actor thinks to themselves that if they had an agent life would be easy. The actor thinks that this magical person will get them into these studios and on to those TV shows. The poor actor feels like an agent will answer all their prayers. This is funny. Because once the actor finds an agent that actually wants to work with them they feel like they are on top of the world. They feel like nothing can defeat them. Then it starts. The agent needs the perfect picture. You see the agent has to submit these pictures to the casting people to get the actors the auditions to be on the show. So now the actor can't get work, even though he has his long awaited agent. Finally...the pictures are ready. The agent begins to submit and the actor waits. And waits and waits. Then finally the call. The actor has an audition at a studio. The agent did their job. The actors prayers are answered. They go to the audition and they look around and everyone else at the casting office is 10 years older then them. They are a different race and maybe a different sex. The actors faith in the agent is getting weakened. Yet the hope that life as an actor will be easy is still there. So the actor waits and waits and gets another call. This call is the agent telling the actor that he or she needs new pictures again. The actor is upset but does it. Now, this process happens about every two to three months. The actor then decides to change agents and desperately looks for a new one and sends out headshots and finally signs with someone new and the same thing happens....I know around 1000 actors. This is the story I hear everyday. I have two things that hopefully will save some of you the agony of depending on an agent. ONE!!! The agent gets 10% of your income you get 90%. Be prepared to do 90% of the work. TWO!!!! Most agents have many, many clients. In the beginning stages of your career you are just one of those many. You are the only one who is depending on your career. Stop concentrating on what your agent is not doing for you and concentrate on what you can do for yourself! Make things happen. When you start working you can pick any agent you like. And if you start finding work for yourself when you already have an agent, it gives the agent incentive to sell you and something to sell you with! I tell every actor that calls me and asks if they should switch agents that they are wasting their time. Agents are fabulous but you can't stop helping yourself just cause you have one!

Sorry it's been so long since my last blog! Alot has been happening. I bought an awesome house that has the most gorgeous garden in the world. My dogs love it. It has a 10000sq ft yard. Which in most places isn't a big deal. But in LA it is amazing. The house is cool. No central air so since it has been 110 degrees lately it has been slightly uncomfortable. Oh. I also found another dog. His name is Vinnie and he is a mastiff, pit bull mix. He is 8 months old and 90lbs. My cocker spaniels beat him up though. The bunny likes him too. He doesn't have an aggressive bone in his body! My blogs from here on out are going to be a little mor informative. I will probably be adding ti bits from my life. But I really want to share the experience of being an actress in HOLLYWOOD. It is completely different from anywhere else on the planet. I will write about Agents tonight!!

I really try to stay positive about LA and I will say it has a lot of good points. However, it is the only "city" that has a bunch of people living in it that move and work in a small town pace! If these people lived in NY they would be eaten alive. Just one little example. Today I went to dinner at a Mexican place. It was a very simple order. Carne Asada Burrito and a Tostada Grande. The Tostada Grande was literally some shredded lettuce in a stale tortilla shell with two pieces of Chicken and a slab of sour cream. Completely not edible. It took about 45 minutes to get this disgusting meal and it was like $13. I won't even get started on the Burrito because the memory is awful. The thing is we have come to this place to eat several times and it is really good once in a while. This seems to be a common thing with LA eateries. Very unreliable. You never know what to expect. So we left hungry and instead of complaining decided to go to an ice cream place. We waited for the guy serving the ice cream to finish his cell phone conversationa dn then he very casually walks over to us to take our order. Again it's simple a Chocolate cone and a Vanilla milkshake. He hands us the shake and a bag. (Why the bag didn't tip me off I don't know. I think I was delirious from being hungry.) I tip him like $3 and leave. I look in the bag and it's just a cone. He gave me just an ice cream cone. I'm not sure if he thought I was going to dunk it in the shake or what but it was empty!! So I go back in and he was really annoyed because he was back on his cell phone and I hold up the cone and smile and say. "I think you forgot the ice cream." He sort of looks at me strange and puts a scoop of chocolate ice cream in it and goes back to his phone call. Really, this happened. Know apology, nothing. F*ckin LA!

Today I was auditioning people to join my acting studio and the office phone rang. My co worker Erin answered it and later told me it was my old manager. Erin assumed I wouldn't want to talk to her and took the message. Basically, a casting director from NY was trying to track me down. I had auditioned for them 6 years ago and they wanted me to come in. Now this agency is the biggest theatrical casting agencies in NY and the musical they are casting is HUGE! To give you a hint...they just made a movie about it. There are many weird things about this. The first being..I'm not a singer. The second being...I'm not a dancer. Three..they tracked me down. Four...In 6 years I haven't heard from them and now that I am living in LA they need me. Back to the story. I get the message and find out I have to call my old Agent. He had called my old manager and she found me. So I call and he gives me the number to the casting office. It's about 5:30pm LA time at this point so I assume the NY office is closed but decide to call anyway. Now it gets super weird...The machine picks up and a very proffesional voice is saying a normal message, "You have reached___ Casting. We are not available..." Then suddenly you hear a beep and what sounds like a recorded conversation. The background voices say.."Where is Melissa Bacelar." I hung up and looked at Erin and asked her to listen to it on speaker. Sure enough she heard it. I let 5 other people listen and everyone was in agreement. Now when I finally did get in touch with them they wanted me to be in there office like an hour later to audition for producers. Of course living in LA made that immpossible. But how crazy is that.

So as many of you know already I have a long list of Troma films to my name. This company is brilliant and so educational when you are starting out in the business. Shooting a Troma film for three days is better then going to film school for four years. Not to mentionthat I got to travel to really cool places (Cannes Film Festival) and meet major stars. The last film I did w/ them had a cast that included Corey Feldman, Ron Jeremy, Hank the Angry Dwarf and STAN LEE!!!! (who I love and even named my dog after!) It was Citizen toxie and it brought me all the way to France for promotions. I have never felt more like a star. I was constantly surrounded by paparazzi. I signed 100's of autographs and I even partied with the Prince of Monaco...More to come.

I have the pleasure of sharing a home with the two cutest dogs in the world. Clarence and Stan Lee. Clarence is a Buff cocker spaniel and he is 6 years old. he is the smartest dog I have ever met and he makes me laugh constantly. His days are spent running errands with me, keeping men away and eating. His brother, Stan Lee, is a 7 year old black cocker spaniel. He also comes everywhere with me but his main concerns involve chasing squirels and burying bones. They are awesome boys. Everyone should be so lucky.

Thought the title was fitting considering I am writing this on Easter. But honestly rabbits are the most amazing pets and it is insane that people think of them as diposable. I was driving w/ a few of my friends and we made a wrong turn down a cul de sac. Low and behold this little white ball of fur was hoping down the street. It was 10pm and I have no idea how long he had been jumping around but we new we had to get him. Sooo, Spinner (my fiance) jumps out of the car and the bunny literally runs to him. He gets in our Jeep and looks at me and says. I guess we have a bunny.
I didn't know much about having a bunny but I am quickly learning. They are sweet and smart. They can be litter trained and eat all day long. The Rabbit Pellets they sell in the pet shops are horrible for them and they do much better just eating Hay and fresh vegetables. They need excercise and will happily run around your house. The only thing they do is chew wires. So before letting your bunny hop all over bunny proof your house. They are naturally pack animals and get very lonely if left alone. You should spade your female bunny and nueter your male if you plan on having more then one or if he has an attitude. Bunny's aren't good pets for kids. (like most animals) They are fairly easy to take care of and they even lick you like a dog! Our bunnies name is Frankie and he is about a year old according to our Vet. he gets along w/ my two dogs and cuddles up with us at night!! If you see a bunny hopping around your neighborhood look up your nearest bunny rescue group. These animals deserve better lives then they are getting!!